I AM 25 YEARS + VAT

I am 25 years + VAT

Today is my birthday (Sincerely). I had forgotten and it has taken a text from my bank for me to wake up to this realization. I looked at the text and wondered why the bank should keep on reminding me that my death is certainly inching closer. Are banks turning themselves to doomsday prophets? Is it because they are holding my minimum balance? --Are these rhetorical questions? What is a rhetorical question by the way?

I was born on the 1^st day of October in the year only-our-Lord-knows. Maybe I should confirm the year with my bank, as soon as they introduce some ‘life-balance’ slips.  All I am sure of is that I have turned another calendar and heaven is beckoning. I have already reached my future. And since I was told that I am future leader, I am again wondering why they are yet to send me outriders and bodyguards to pick me up. I am still waiting.

My mother told me that I was born at a very tiny age (9 months) and that I cried when I figured out that the world was not so much interested in my arrival. Unexpected, unwelcome or otherwise I landed and here I am blogging. Life has been fast, or should I say furious?

Reasons I am enjoying my birthday

§  I am no longer the little boy you used to know.

§  I cannot die young. I have dealt with that successfully.

§  I have some life insurance covers, so, if I die, I will be rich.

§  My new age is a gift that has come without any effort. I just sat there and you know what? I was suddenly older.

§  It is the beginning of another year.

My biggest fear now is:

The total cost of candles has exceeded the cost of the cake… Men, this is called growing up!

A big lie

I was told, “You will see when you grow up.” I am now more than a grown up and I haven’t seen a thing yet.

My resolution

I have decided to live forever or die trying.